Well, its official!! Everything is turned in for my surgery. What that means is all I need now is a date!! I am hoping for January but the end of December would be just as great for me....

It has been such a long and hard road over the last 10 years. It seems like everyday my self esteem fell more and more and now I am to the point that living one more day like this is almost impossible. I have lost so much of myself through these last 10 years. So much joy and self confidence. I am embarrassed all the time and so insecure everywhere I go. I used to be so friendly and out going and now I want to be invisible. I cant see how anyone can be attracted to me and the fact of the matter is that no one is. When I talk about gius here I need to get honest and say that if they want to be with me then they have never seen me. They are going purely on personality and you know as well as I do that personality doesnt get you anywhere when it comes to face to face encounters. Its not like I lie about my weight but in reality not saying anything at all is like a lie in itself........

Ok I went off there for a minute...I am trying to make this short cause I have to work in a bit..........Point is that everything is done and now it is a waiting game...Please God dont let there be anything to stand in the way of this..........

Namaste~

Elyse

I just made a ticker and it says I have lost only 22 pounds in the last 6 months......Well we will see how the liquid diet goes.......